2020 was for sure one for the books. It was difficult in a number of ways and I honestly felt completely lost. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, my career and there was just so much uncertainty in so many different aspects of my life. I was finding it challenging to face the actuality of it all. If you’re anything like me then 2020 definitely bought a ton of lessons and I’m grateful for each and every one of them and I thought I would share a few.

A SAFE CHOICE DOESN'T MEAN A RIGHT CHOICE.

I never thought of myself as a perfect person, but I also really never took a deep look at what ways the choices I make are influencing my life, not that I make particularly bad choices, but I have lived my entire life making safe choices because I know that they won't result in failure. I hate uncertainty and have basically avoided it every chance I get, but I realize now that I've made a lot of choices based on fear which should never be the case. The safe choice is easy, the right choice is much more difficult.  Uncertainty is uncomfortable and it's supposed to be, but it's that discomfort that allows an opportunity for growth and beautiful things often happen from growth.

ASKING FOR HELP DOESN’T MAKE YOU WEAK.

It has always been extremely difficult for me to ask anyone for help with anything and that only worsened when I became a Mom. I feel as though anything I go through or deal with is my responsibility and mine alone and while that may be true, it doesn’t mean that I can’t ask for help in the process. I have rarely ever reached out to others for help and the few times I have it’s because I’ve reached a breaking point and by that time, I’ve probably caused myself unnecessary stress. During the beginning stages of the pandemic, I was finding it extremely difficult to balance working from home full time and now also being a stay-at-home Mom/teacher to a three-year-old. It was a hard adjustment for her because she missed her friends and hard for me because I wanted to be sure she didn’t feel neglected and was receiving all the love she needed and deserved but also ensure she was still learning despite not being in school. I didn’t want to admit that I was having a hard time with it all because she has me and her Dad and I felt that we could manage it alone, but that wasn’t the case as it was a lot for the both of us to take on. We’re not teachers and yes, we’re her parents, but that doesn't mean we're exempt from receiving help with our child and as her parents sometimes the best decision to make is to ask for help, so we did. Kaylin now has a tutor come to the house 3 days a week so that she doesn’t completely miss out on the school experience and she also gets to spend a lot of time with a few family members which allows for her to socialize with people other than her parents and that makes for a happier child and because of that happier parents.  I gave that example to say that true strength comes from self-awareness, so don’t ever feel weak for needing help. Not everything in life is meant for you to navigate alone and I’m truly grateful that I have an amazing support system that's willing to share the load.

I CAN BE A BETTER FRIEND.

I’m blessed enough to have an amazing group of friends and when I say AMAZING, I really mean amazing, but this year forced me to spend a lot of time apart from them and I also talked a lot less to a lot of them because of it. I know everyone was dealing with a lot this year but just looking back it’s for that reason that I could have been more present. Often times when people haven’t heard from someone in a while they say “they’re not reaching out to me either” or something to that matter and while that’s true, you never know what people are dealing with and if this isn’t a common behavior that shouldn’t even be a thought. Friendships take work just like anything else and that shouldn’t be forgotten. I intend to be more present in my friendships despite anything I have going on because if the pandemic taught me anything it’s that we need each other.

IT’S OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK, LIFE IS NOT A RACE.

I found myself extremely anxious a lot this year and most of it stemmed from overworking myself. Even when I called myself taking breaks, I truly never really was. My mind was always on overload thinking about what I could be doing or what needed to be done. On days that were supposed to be "me" days, where I can just let go and be still, I found myself doing anything but because I somehow took on this "always hustling" mindset. I was overworked in my 9-5 (like most of us) but also overworking myself outside of that and getting less sleep because of it, which was causing more harm than good. I read somewhere, probably on Pinterest lol, that you should take time for yourself every day. I think that most people, especially parents don't usually think that way, but that really changed my perspective on how I go about my day.  Breaks are allowed...from people, from work, from anything you deem necessary.  We have to be able to recognize when we've reached our limits and not be afraid that we'll somehow fall behind or worry about who it'll upset because anyone that cares about you will understand. So "work smarter, not harder" is my mindset moving forward and I'm okay with taking time to do absolutely nothing these days.